happy wars review

okay i am sorry for the long delay. im planning on moving my blogs on to tumblr and so forth.
but anyhow lets carry on shall we?

happy wars at first inpressions looks like falbe heroes and my god that game was terrible.
if it wasn't for the fact that i try out every single game for the sheer hell of it, i'd miss out on the most beautiful freeware games in this era.

this game is perfect
from the beautiful soundtrack i headphone bass boost to everyday
to the gameplay with some of the smoothest controls id ever seen in an adventure rpg world
the enviremont got me lost and carried away by its awesomeness countless times that i love it to death.

this game is too good to par any negativity. i hate sonic for one thing, but this takes the cake on so many levels.

i must give this game a 10/10
even if i had to pay 1200 to 2000 points it would have all come down to this review a few days later with the same results but the fact that its FREE is so wonderful to my ears that everyone with a 360 gets to see this wonderful experience just brings me to tears that there are still people out there who HAVE never even herd of this gem.
10/10
10/10!
ten out of ten!

all modern & classic sonic titles in a nutshell

this is what happens when you don't buy games like sonic labyrinth

Sonic & Knuckles

a fourth game that finally has the balls to lay off a cheaper price,

but who fucking cares? you already bought it like six fucking times you fucking idiot. because you never already have it!

this fucking game has you start off as the faggot sonic and the fucking faggot captain k'nuckles.

there's no fucking story, all your doing is running to the fucking right till the game ends

k'nuckles suck ass, he can't fly for shit just like tails and has to climb motherfucking walls!
and the game has little changes like a fucking background recolor throughout the whole game. fucking lazy. and the worst part of it is the ending, you just fucking die.

the game still fucking sucks.
0/1 graphics are the fucking same
0/1 music is awfully terribly the same
0/1 the controls are still blisteringly the same
0/1 the game play is fucking horseshit again
0/1 there's no fucking replay value

oh god i gotta do another 5!

0/1 you have to buy all the other games to fucking play a dlc game! gay!
0/1 leader boards are more broken then all the other ones
0/1 why the fuck should i pay 240 just to say i fucking saved 260 when i could've just got it free
0/1 no 2 player
0/1 no fucking tails

that's it im done, im fucking done with this horseshit! go fucking waste someone else's time cause i don't wanna fucking deal with you faggots and your baby indie game cunt bullshit.

so i token the liberty of showing you that here's the most accurate score for this game in the world.

0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/10

sonic the hedgehog 3 xbox 360 review

 3 games? what.

sonic the hedgehog 3 for the xbox 360 is a 360 arcade game...without 60.

stupidest fucking game ever.

the game follows the exact same as the previous games
explaining absolutely nothing whatsoever.
you have no idea what the fuck is going on.


anyway the gameplay has not been changed for shit
but a few more things have been added
now you can jump 2 times so you can jump while you jump

and best part is
you can do it as tails

conditionally what it should have been in the first place.
the graphics have never been more simplistic
because it is still the exact same
and the music is terrible as before.

nothin changed at all but the level designs.

that's it.

 
 anything new about the options?
no.

online?
no.

storyline?
no.

the game starts off with you and tails in a red airplane that we seen in sonic 2
and we see sonic abuses his ability that he has used in all of sonic 2
but there's one problem,


HE CAN FUCKING FLY!!!
WHY CAN'T WE FLY IN THE LAST 2 GAMES???


fucking lazy asses.

 seriously!
your first goal is to run after a red mole that pops out of the ground and you have no clue who he fucking is!
all because he stole yo precious rocks!

 you have to go through all of this not only again
but for the third time!
which i am sick of!

 if they had any originality
 they wouldn't make these shitty games
they would be making this

 and for god sakes,

why the fuck is sonic so special?
 3 games so far and no original content!
and they are all 5 dollars!
 5!

 really!
the developers need to get there head out of there asses and make an original game
instead of coding xbox arcade games with indie game scripting.
i had no trouble with this game at all even if i did at the last 2!
NOT EVEN THE FUCKING CARNIVAL LEVEL!

 how does this shit not look indie?
this is an indie game
and this is an arcade game
sonic does not belong in an arcade game!


 ever!

the bosses are still the same!
 and they are even easier!
 the whole game is even easier!
 jesus fucking christ!
 you can beat the first level in just 5 minutes!

 FIVE MINUTES!!!!!

 and to make things worse.

the entire game is


 4 hours long!

 that's right!
4 hours getting all the levels and rocks!

 

 fuck this shit i give this game a 3/100

because the whole 3 games should have been this all in one for such a humongous price!

but i rather play this

sonic 2 xbox 360 review

 there's another?

sonic the hedgehog 2 for the xbox 360 is infact real

sure it may be better then that god awful game

but it is still shit

the graphics are still the same with that seizure color shit

and they also keep the damn music the same as well.

the quality is shit and the damn online sucks balls!

not to mention the options are still the same.

the gameplay is the exact same.
and there are barley any changes whatsoever!


they did get a 'few' things to make this somewhat original

see the guy flying above you?
that's tails.


he serves no purpose in this game whatsoever!
sure you can play two player together.
but what's the point if he goes back to "auto mode" when you AFC for ten seconds.
and what makes matters worse is that you cannot fly in this game
AT ALL!!!!!

WTF?

and there is barely any difference between you and tails.

tails is smaller,slower,and invincible.

that's it.

seriously left out some improvements but nope.avi
they didn't fucking care!

 infact the whole game's level design goes to show how much of a fuck they care about there games.

im not going to tell you about the levels this time because almost everyone that knows sonic
knows this game.
or sonic adventure 2 that is coming this fall.

im still using these pics to hint you about the game
and im not telling much about the levels individually
but within most of the game time being played.

as i was saying
the water mechanics are still the same and there are no differences in other levels.
quite a shame for how little creativity this game has.

and the tails player seems to be the most retarded computer i have ever seen.

the bosses are also the same
but they are soo much easier then before.
such relief torn by how easy the game is when it isn't pulling cheap shit like sonic 1!
they also seem to be the most if only original in this case
if at all.

and why the hell are the enemy's the same?
did they run out of ideas from the first game?
didn't they even consider feedback?


why am i making these questions for a craptastic series such as sonic the hedgehog anyway?

BECAUSE IT FUCKING SUCKS ANAL BALLS!

also
why bother implement a two player if that sucks too?
and my god the music should burn in fire!
what the hell were they thinking?
i suffered through a hardass game only to be thrown off with this easyass shit?
LOOK IM DOING NOTHING WITHING 10 SECONDS OF THE LEVEL

...but i am holding right right?
 but i will say this
the following pic here shows why i fucking hate this game in the first place.

the level design is a blatant rip from the previous game with a shitty coat of paint.
the music is soo fucking boring i want to head bang against steal!
the goddamn creativity in this is 0 out of a 1,000,000,000 million
and for these reasons
this is the only good zone in the game.
it shows you what a mess you are being put into.
but will you stop?

this fucking level has to be admitted as one of the cheapest mazes of all puzzle history.
i had no idea where i was going the whole time.
literately i spend 3 hours into this taking breaks cause how nauseous this makes me feel.

and jesus christ
the boss was absolutely fucking atrocious!
you would die again
again
again
again
gameover
continue
again
again
*repeat*
AND AGAIN!

UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
fuck that boss!

 anyway
instead of cutting out 1 stage for each level up until here is a dick move.
the whole game should have 3 stages just like the previous game.
but they just had to scrap it and put a boss in the second fucking stage!

 this is why the game is so fucking short.

in sonic 1
i played for a total run of 6 hours timed
in this game i got to the credits by the 4rth hour!
this game is only 4hours long!

and after a gayass level you are in the final level in the game!
holy shit the final level already?
yes
and i fell so bad for the developers as if i even give a fuck at all.
this level may not look much          *holy shit superman*
 but you will fall to your pancake grave if you jump one angle too wrong.

welcome to hell in space!
literately this is the end of the game from here.





i fucking hate this so much
the final boss has 2 phases
2 phases!!

the first one is this cheapass ripoff of you!
YES YOU!!!
and you have to fight him to the death with fatass eggman over the window masturebating.

you make one error and your sorry ass is dumped back to the start.
not even at the fight!
why run all the way back to the fight when you can go back? it pisses me off!

and as if that was not too much for you your sorry ass is dragged into a scripted event with eggman running his ass into a transformer.
and you have to take that fucking thing all by yourself
tails is ours.
and if you take one hit.
eggman is getting a promotion. *fuck robotnik, his pingas will not save him*
and your ass is back to ripoff the copy righter!

and oh my god the black and white ending!
that shit was so garbage...so fucking gay
i want to fall into a punji pit!


why do this shit instead of making an actual cut scene? *even 1 for that mater*


 anyway
two player is shit
options is shit
online is shit
 music is shit
graphics is shit
game is shit

 and i hate this game so much im giving it a 2/100
the 2 need to die badly
i would rather burn the first game that should ever be the first game.

sonic 1 xbox 360 review

well all remember back when games were good...right? 

wrong!
this is coming straight from the horses mouth!
i know good games when i see them, and this one just falls flat on its face!
if you don't know what this game is then you are a damn good gamer.
but
not for me,          tragic.
this game has only 3 stages for levels and they are incredibly bland,
indie colored up the ass, and have tons of glitches that render this unplayable.

first you start out on checkerboard zone

the gameplay has you consisted on a 2D horizontal view
unable to change the options without pausing and losing view of the screen disrupting the experience! this is stupid!
the controls are stupid
you can hold left or right and no other way, look up and crouch viewing down, and jump.

that's it.


im serious.

the options do let you change between good and bad graphics...i don't know why?
and it has a screen font changer so you can see the boring background while playing.


this game is very slow paced and boring!
it has you waiting for scripted events like no tomorrow!

there's this one part where a fat fuck called eggman comes in and kills me with a fucking ball!

see the faggot above you?
its fucking gay!




so you go through levels
however they are called "zones" in the game because the developers were fucking idiots!

see that?

that's fire.

and fucking magma.

...
so now your in "fire jail zone" because it is just fucking traps and lava with fire that has made this the most stupidest fucking level in the game!
 was i not clear?

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING LEVEL IN THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME!

and the boss shows it.

welcome to the actual game

the developers are so stupid on this level it might as well be called "new mombasa"
seriously this place is soo indie'd right now it is making my eyes sick!

you just do 3 things

1. run and stop

2. encounter this

3. die

and this boss makes it all worse!
one wrong-no even 1% of mistake will kill you!
this fucking bitched pissed me off to kingdom come!

and now we are in MineCraft zone!

seriously!
it looks like fucking minecraft!

but looks aside, this level is so fucking gay!

why per say?

water.


fucking.

water.

okay so now i have to introduce you to a new broken mechanic, the water.
it basically slows both you down and your gravity.
it not only sucks
but when your filled with shitloads of bombs and spikes and shit your have a hard fucking time with this.

and the fucking boss!!!!!

 and where the hell is eggman?

he's not even in this one!

and it sucks!!!!!!

it has you drenched in fucking water! and your suppose to climb up 50 meters of blocks filled with spikes and gargoyles!
that shoot fire!
how fucking realistic!

and now welcome to "turbulence zone!"
this one has you in new mombasa again, only at night.
original you say?





anyone remembered to look infront of them?
because your always gonna fall and die!
not to mention bombs
more bombs
and spikes that you can hang on.

this boss is just too cheap.
he sits up there like you are about to deliver the most fatal blow in the world.
but the only problem?

YOU CAN'T REACH THIS FATASS!
toke me an hour i believe to figure this shit out.


thought the game was too easy soo far didn't ya?

well your in for hell
this level has more death ratio's then the apocalypse!
why
it sucks!
because there's shit littered everywhere and you can't do anything about it!
this level might as well be called "satan's factory" because you are going to regret ever playing this game once you reach this awful place!

this is the actual level


and you are required to go through everything.

and after that stage
it gets even worse!

think you can deal with the pressure?
let alone the insanity?
i couldn't.

and guess what?


there's a third stage.

you will
for real
never beat this entire stage!

here's the surprise!
eggman sends you here before you beat the game so you are now required to scurry into this games nether.
it has you drenched in i don't even know what?
and it is that for the entire level.
also
take everything fucking gay from all the other levels and add it here
and this is what you get!
i hate this fucking level!
fuck this shit!

this couldn't possibly be the final boss, there's no way.






"it is"
and it sucks.

there's this thing on the wall that shoots shit and kills you in 1hit!
1hit!
and eggman has these 4 crusher's set up so you will die if your ass isn't out of the way.





and believe me.
it's not worth beating it.
this boss sucks out of all of them cause i spent an HOUR doing it!!!!!!!!!!


and the ending sucks, its just you running for ten seconds and then he punches you.
that is all!
wow.

and i thought there would be more!
then after the credits eggman juggles 6 rocks and your are told to "TRY AGAIN."





you have no idea how pissed off i was!

anyway that's the whole game
i give it a 1/100

this game sucks balls!