sonic 1 xbox 360 review

well all remember back when games were good...right? 

wrong!
this is coming straight from the horses mouth!
i know good games when i see them, and this one just falls flat on its face!
if you don't know what this game is then you are a damn good gamer.
but
not for me,          tragic.
this game has only 3 stages for levels and they are incredibly bland,
indie colored up the ass, and have tons of glitches that render this unplayable.

first you start out on checkerboard zone

the gameplay has you consisted on a 2D horizontal view
unable to change the options without pausing and losing view of the screen disrupting the experience! this is stupid!
the controls are stupid
you can hold left or right and no other way, look up and crouch viewing down, and jump.

that's it.


im serious.

the options do let you change between good and bad graphics...i don't know why?
and it has a screen font changer so you can see the boring background while playing.


this game is very slow paced and boring!
it has you waiting for scripted events like no tomorrow!

there's this one part where a fat fuck called eggman comes in and kills me with a fucking ball!

see the faggot above you?
its fucking gay!




so you go through levels
however they are called "zones" in the game because the developers were fucking idiots!

see that?

that's fire.

and fucking magma.

...
so now your in "fire jail zone" because it is just fucking traps and lava with fire that has made this the most stupidest fucking level in the game!
 was i not clear?

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING LEVEL IN THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME!

and the boss shows it.

welcome to the actual game

the developers are so stupid on this level it might as well be called "new mombasa"
seriously this place is soo indie'd right now it is making my eyes sick!

you just do 3 things

1. run and stop

2. encounter this

3. die

and this boss makes it all worse!
one wrong-no even 1% of mistake will kill you!
this fucking bitched pissed me off to kingdom come!

and now we are in MineCraft zone!

seriously!
it looks like fucking minecraft!

but looks aside, this level is so fucking gay!

why per say?

water.


fucking.

water.

okay so now i have to introduce you to a new broken mechanic, the water.
it basically slows both you down and your gravity.
it not only sucks
but when your filled with shitloads of bombs and spikes and shit your have a hard fucking time with this.

and the fucking boss!!!!!

 and where the hell is eggman?

he's not even in this one!

and it sucks!!!!!!

it has you drenched in fucking water! and your suppose to climb up 50 meters of blocks filled with spikes and gargoyles!
that shoot fire!
how fucking realistic!

and now welcome to "turbulence zone!"
this one has you in new mombasa again, only at night.
original you say?





anyone remembered to look infront of them?
because your always gonna fall and die!
not to mention bombs
more bombs
and spikes that you can hang on.

this boss is just too cheap.
he sits up there like you are about to deliver the most fatal blow in the world.
but the only problem?

YOU CAN'T REACH THIS FATASS!
toke me an hour i believe to figure this shit out.


thought the game was too easy soo far didn't ya?

well your in for hell
this level has more death ratio's then the apocalypse!
why
it sucks!
because there's shit littered everywhere and you can't do anything about it!
this level might as well be called "satan's factory" because you are going to regret ever playing this game once you reach this awful place!

this is the actual level


and you are required to go through everything.

and after that stage
it gets even worse!

think you can deal with the pressure?
let alone the insanity?
i couldn't.

and guess what?


there's a third stage.

you will
for real
never beat this entire stage!

here's the surprise!
eggman sends you here before you beat the game so you are now required to scurry into this games nether.
it has you drenched in i don't even know what?
and it is that for the entire level.
also
take everything fucking gay from all the other levels and add it here
and this is what you get!
i hate this fucking level!
fuck this shit!

this couldn't possibly be the final boss, there's no way.






"it is"
and it sucks.

there's this thing on the wall that shoots shit and kills you in 1hit!
1hit!
and eggman has these 4 crusher's set up so you will die if your ass isn't out of the way.





and believe me.
it's not worth beating it.
this boss sucks out of all of them cause i spent an HOUR doing it!!!!!!!!!!


and the ending sucks, its just you running for ten seconds and then he punches you.
that is all!
wow.

and i thought there would be more!
then after the credits eggman juggles 6 rocks and your are told to "TRY AGAIN."





you have no idea how pissed off i was!

anyway that's the whole game
i give it a 1/100

this game sucks balls!